[英文幽默笑话]幽默的英文

来源:自我介绍 时间:2018-07-13 19:00:07 阅读:

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一:[幽默的英文]最搞笑的英文自我介绍

  无论是在面试还是学校里,生活中,幽默的自我介绍可以为你加分不少,小编为大家整理了幽默英文自我介绍,希望对大家有所帮助。
  1、Hi,everybody. Good to be here. Facing the audience, a thought occured to me. Mama has alway told me not to make a fool in public. But somehow I just couldn"t follow what she said exactly. Well some people always treat me as a crazy loon. For I"m never part of any crowd and have some dreams far-off look. I"d even crash into someone with my nose stuck in a book. Now I"m standing on the stage, giving a speech in English. Circumstance being that I"m pretty nervous. Maybe some guy would just think that it"d embarass me as frightened speechless. Never mind. I"m always good for a laugh.
  2、Self-introductionHello everyone! My is......, from Qinzhou. I’m so glad to meet you, and I’m currently a student at Guangxi Textile Industrial School. my major is knitting. It’s my pleasure to join the CHAMPION training camp, because I love English and I hope I can learn something in the training for my future work. As we all know English is very useful in every field.My English is limited that’s why I’m here. I know it’s a huge challenge for me to conquer English, but I believe that “No pains, no gains, success belongs to the persevering”, I hope I can learn more from you, Thank you!
  3、Good morning !
  It is really my honor to have this opportunity for a interview,I hope i can make a good performance today.
  I"m confident that I can succeed.Now i will introduce myself briefly I am 26 years old,born in shandong province .I was graduated from qingdao university. my major is electronic.and i got my bachelor degree after my graduation in the year of 2003.
  I spend most of my time on study,i have passed CET4/6 . and i have acquired basic knowledge of my major during my school time.In July 2003, I begin work for a small private company as a technical support engineer in QingDao city.Because I"m capable of more responsibilities, so I decided to change my job.
  And in August 2004,I left QingDao to BeiJing and worked for a foreign enterprise as a automation software test engineer.Because I want to change my working environment, I"d like to find a job which is more challenging. Morover Motorola is a global company, so I feel I can gain the most from working in this kind of company ennvironment. That is the reason why I come here to compete for this position.I think I"m a good team player and I"m a person of great honesty to others. Also I am able to work under great pressure.
  4、Good morning !
  It is really my honor to have this opportunity for a interview,
  I hope i can make a good performance today. I"m confident that I can succeed.
  Now i will introduce myself briefly
  I am 26 years old,born in shandong province .
  I was graduated from qingdao university. my major is electronic.and i got my bachelor degree after my graduation in the year of 2003.
  I spend most of my time on study,i have passed CET4/6 . and i have acquired basic knowledge of my major during my school time.
  In July 2003, I begin work for a small private company as a technical support engineer in QingDao city.Because I"m capable of more responsibilities, so I decided to change my job.
  And in August 2004,I left QingDao to BeiJing and worked for a foreign enterprise as a automation software test engineer.Because I want to change my working environment, I"d like to find a job which is more challenging. Morover Motorola is a global company, so I feel I can gain the most from working in this kind of company ennvironment. That is the reason why I come here to compete for this position.
  I think I"m a good team player and I"m a person of great honesty to others. Also I am able to work under great pressure.
  That’s all. Thank you for giving me the chance.
  5、Hello,everyone.My name is Zhangya。I‘m twelve years old as one student of the Grade Six Class Tree at the No .56 middle school in the city of PingDingShan.I am a lively girl.I like drawing,riding bike and surfing the internet.I have many friends,the best is Du Xingyue.There are father,mother,elder sister and me in my family.My mom is a housewife.My father is a worker.My elder sister is a university student.My family is very happy.They all love me and i also love them.
  6、Good evening,I know it"s 3:00pm now,But I always what to say good evening.People always call me XXX.I think if I have a choice.I would tell my parents I want to be called XX.Ok,it"s a joke.To be in this class is a wonderful thing.Because god has told me that we will be the NO.1 during the next 3 years.Fine, I shouldn"t tell you this because god also has told me not to tell others.I like making friends with others a lot.So I think we will have a very good time together.But, don"t expect me to tell you how to talk to god.Thank you.
  7、Hi, guys. As you know, we"re fellow students. You are all familiar with me. So, what should I start with? Haw, it"s somewhat embarrassing to tell you what you know well. But it doesn"t matter at all. I"m here just for practicing my English. It"s very important of your support. Let"s go to business now.
  Hum-hum, first of all, you all know well my name. I"m from XX. Besides, I cannot tell you how old I am because it"s a secret of a lady"s age. The next, I like singing, swimming,crying, haw-haw...It is too much than what I could tell in one time. I like icecream, apple, orange, banana, and so on. Then let me introduce my family. My father...,and my mother...What a pity that I have no brothers or sisters. But fortunately, I have you as my classmates and friends.You really help me a lot.As well, I also enjoy helping each of you. Do you know my personalities? In fact, I"m not so clear.
  8、Hello everyone!I"m so glad that all of you can come here today.First,my neme is xxx(your name here).You must want to know my age,but that"s a secret.Allright,i"m xx(your age here),not too bad(your evil smile)!My favourite hobbies are xx xx xx. Ok,guys,agin,so glad to see you,wish all of you have a good day!

二:[幽默的英文]4人幽默剧本英语带翻译


  适合4个人表演的幽默英语剧本故事情节要精炼简洁,主题明确,最好在对剧本是安排好剧情发展。

  4人幽默英语剧本(一)
  公园记(四人课堂话剧)
  A(衣衫褴褛) B(衣着光鲜) C小花 E椅子 F新闻记者
  B坐在E上吃东西,A一乞丐上前。
  A:先生,先生,请给我些面包,谢谢,我饿得不行了。
  B:(厌恶)让开,让开。(然后便起身离开,这时他的钱包掉到E上头了) A:先生,先生。(A看见后,立即拾起,追上了走远的B)
  B:让开,让开啊,我没吃的了,也没钱了。(看也不看A,仍自顾自地走了) C:他真愚蠢啊
  A:可„„先生„„您听我说„„(仍拉着B衣服的后摆)
  B:挖,你这人怎么这么讨厌!(还是没有回头看A一眼)
  C:椅子啊,你会不会觉得刚刚坐在你身上的人特愚蠢?
  E:唉,人总是这么愚蠢啊~~~~
  与此同时A与B还在纠缠,这时E终于隐忍不住爆发了。
  E:先生!你的钱包丢了!你怎么这么傻啊。
  A与B同时回头,看见了那会说话的椅子E,吓昏过去了。这一幕恰巧被经过的F看见了。于是F就报道了这一事件。
  F:大家好,我是新闻记者F,今天我看见了一个奇异的现象,一个椅子说话了,两个人被吓昏了,下面我将采访一下被吓昏的两个人。
  B:哦,上帝,哦,妈妈。
  F:这个人傻了,我们不鸟他了,下面我采访一下另一个人吧,请问你为什么不告诉他,他的钱包丢了?
  A:对不起,我不知道“钱包”这个单词怎么讲„„
  F:通过这一事件,我们可以认识到,掌握一门外语的重要性,以及金钱给人类带来的影响。是吗,椅子?
  E:是啊,是啊。(E傻傻地拼命点头)
  C:唉,人可真愚蠢,椅子也被他们弄傻了。
  A:Sir,sir,please give me a piece of bread.thank you,sir.I"m hungry to die.
  B:Get away,get away,dirty man.
  A:Sir,sir!!
  B:Run away,please run away.I have no food,and I don"t have money,eitherC:Hey,xiao D,he is so foolish,isn"t he?
  A:But....sir....please listen to me.....
  B:Wa,why are you so disgusting!!
  C:Hey,chair,do you feel the man sat on you a moment ago is very stupid.E:Ai,pretty flower,do you know,men are always very silly.
  E:Sir!you lost your wallet!Can"t you be more clever?
  F:Good morning,everybody.I"m a jonrnist F. Today I saw a very weird thing--a chair open her mouth,and two men are frightened to faint. Now,I will intenview the two nozzy man.
  B:Wo,my god,wo,my,mum.
  F:I"m sorry to tell you this man has been mad.We needn"t take notice of him.Let me interview the other man,Hello,man,can you tell men why didn"t you tell him he lost his wallet?
  A:I"m sorry,I don"t know how to speak "钱包" in english......
  F:Dear audience,through this thing we can learn that how improtant it is to mastery a foreign language,and how lagre the money affect us. Is that all right,chair?
  E:Yes,yes.
  C:Ai,men is so silly.
  四人英语话剧剧本
  The Rolling Orange
  人物
  Tom:Father Orange
  Klye:Mother Orange
  Wallis:Older Sister Orange
  Jessie:Little Brother Orange
  Characters
  Father Orange:He is a middle-aged,considerate,and thoughtful man.
  Mother Orange:She is a younger and more youthful woman than Father.She is also very optimistic.
  Older Sister Orange:She is young ,energetic,and competitive .
  Little Brother Orange:He is the youngest and,therefore,a little spoiled.
  SCENE I 场景一:果园
  One Morning in an Orange Orchard.
  (Today is a sunny day .An orange family is discussing nervously about something on an orange tree in an orchard.)
  Father:I was awakened early this morning by the sound of trucks in the field (yawning).
  Mother:Well,it wasn’t the first time to be like this.
  Sister:A whole bunch of strange men was brought in by trucks.
  Brother:That really scared me.They got out and started to climb up ladders.
  Sister:(Afraid suddenly) Oh!My friends were grabbed and put into large bags.I could hear them yell for help.
  Father:Hey!We shouldn’t look at them; otherwise,they’ll notice us.
  Mother:But it’s useless.
  Sister:Oh,God!We’re discovered!
  Brother:Oh!We’re being grabbed and pulled from our branches.What will we do for food and water?
  Sister:It will be so uncomfortable going to town in that bag with a lot of strangers.
  Mother:Well,we’ll just have to do our best.
  Father:Yeah!
  SCENE II
  On a Fruit Stand.
  (After having been on the road in a bag for half an hour,they are placed on a fruit stand.)
  Sister:Gee!This place is so cold and desolate.I wish we had our friends here on this stand (looks at the opposite fruit stall).
  Brother:I tried to make friends with these people on our way here,but everyone looked pretty uncomfortable and scared.
  (Suddenly)
  Sister:Oh!Mother!How could they do that?
  Mother:What are you talking about?
  Brother:I know what she’s talking about (Brother turns to look).
  Father:What did you see?
  Sister:My friends were cut up and eaten.How could they do that?I’m so scared.
  Father:Now,children,be calm.
  Mother:Sh~Someone’s coming.
  Father:Try to be quiet.
  Sister:I don’t want to be taken away.
  Brother:Oh!My friend’s being taken away.
  Sister:Your friend looks so fat.
  Mother:If we look sour,maybe we won’t be taken away.
  Brother:That’s a bright idea.But how could we look sour?
  Mother:Now,children,stop being scared and calm down.
  Father:Oh!No!I’m being looked at.
  Mother:I told you not to eat so much.Now you look so fat and juicy.
  (Father is being taken away.)
  Brother:Oh,no,Dad!
  Father:(Sadly) Good bye,children.
  Sister:Oh!Dad’s being put into the basket and taken away.
  Mother:Oh,no!
  Brother:Stop that.Our father can’t be taken away.
  Mother:Look,he’s being bagged and put into a cart.
  Sister:Hey!The cart’s wheels are going out of the store.
  Brother:A car’s pulling up.
  Mother:Oh,no!His bag is being picked up.
  Sister:But it’s breaking.And Dad’s falling out.
  Brother:Dad’s rolling away.
  All:(Jumping up and down cheering) ROLL!ROLL!He’s getting away.
  Sister & Brother:Yip!Yip!Hurray for Dad!
  Mother:Oh!Thank God.

三:[幽默的英文]关于幽默的英语作文 Life Needs Humor


  Life Needs Humor
  When we are chatting with our friends happily, suddenly if we are talking about the awkward topic, we need to do something to change this situation, what are we gonna do? The answer is using your humor to make things seem easy, and then your friends won’t take your awkward topic seriously. Humor is very important, it can adjust the atmosphere, making things work easily. Life needs humor, without humor, life would be boring. Foreign people like to make friends with humorous people, they can feel relax when they are chatting, while most Chinese people are always taking things too seriously. I like to make friends with humorous guys, they make me feel life is easy, and we should positive about life.
  生活需要幽默
  当我们和朋友聊得很开心的时候,突然如果我们聊到很尴尬的话题,需要做一些事情来改变情形,我们该怎么做呢?答案是使用你的幽默来让事情看起来轻松些,然 后你的朋友就不会把你尴尬的话题当真。幽默很重要,它可以调整氛围,让事情更好地运行。生活需要幽默,没有幽默,生活就会很无聊。外国人喜欢和幽默的人交 朋友,他们聊天的时候可以感到很轻松自在,然而大部分中国人总是把事情看得很正式。我喜欢和幽默的人交朋友,他们让我觉得自由,对生活要积极。

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