[岳云鹏群口相声剧本]校园群口相声剧本

来源:晚会主持词 时间:2018-05-03 16:21:23 阅读:

【www.bbjkw.net--晚会主持词】

  导语:相声(Crosstalk),一种民间说唱曲艺。它以说,学,逗,唱为形式,突出其特点。著名相声演员有马三立,张寿臣,侯宝林,刘宝瑞,马季,侯耀文,苏文茂等。以下是小编整理的资料,欢迎阅读参考。

  群口相声剧本(一)

  乙:过年了,给各位拜年!祝大家牛年大吉!

  甲:好好好,牛年到了,咱们每个人都会牛!

  丙:干嘛要到牛年才牛啊?我看08年我们国家就很牛!

  乙:有道理,08年的成绩不小。

  丙:那还用说嘛。

  乙:奥,那您来说说。

  丙:没问题啊。首先来说,8月份,中国承办了举世瞩目的奥运盛会。

  乙:对,中国人终于实现了自己的梦想。

  丙:奥运会就是个大舞台,开幕式宏伟壮观,比赛精彩纷呈,吉祥物活泼可爱。

  乙:福娃形象深入人心。

  丙:这福娃……唉,说起福娃我想起来了。(指向甲) 我买的五个福娃,你上次借去说给儿子玩,到现在还没还给我。

  乙:好么,现在想起来了。

  甲:过几天就还,小孩儿喜欢玩啊。

  乙:人家马上就还了。

  丙:我儿子也要玩啊,你借的时候倒是给我留两个呐,他全给清仓了。

  乙:你也是,也不给人留一个?

  甲:谁说没给他留啊,我不是留了吗?

  乙:福娃?

  甲:发票。

  丙:象话吗你?

  乙:好么,行啦行啦,咱们还是说奥运会。

  丙:我刚才说的那些都不是最激动人心的。

  乙:奥,那什么最激动人心?

  丙:金牌啊,中国队这次拿了那么多金牌,你不激动啊。

  乙:那当然激动。

  丙:这届奥运会咱们拿了74块金牌,这家伙,多牛啊……

  乙:您先等一下,账对不上了。

  丙:哪儿不对?

  乙:大家都知道,北京奥运会中国队共获得51枚金牌,哪来的74块?

  丙:瞎说瞎说,肯定是74块,发的时候是我签的字。

  乙:什么乱七八糟的,就是51枚。

  丙:这个,你还不相信我?不信,你问他啊。

  乙:奥,他知道?

  丙:对,你问他。

  乙:行,我来问问。跟您打听一下。

  甲:您说。

  乙:这届奥运会,我们中国队一共拿了多少块金牌?

  甲:51块,大家都知道。

  乙:那现在有人说,咱们一共拿了74块金牌,有这事儿吗?

  甲:还有23块他自己造的?胡说八道!

  丙(走到甲身边):你怎么回事,中国队拿74块金牌这事儿你不知道吗?这事儿……连福娃都知道啊。(对甲使眼色)

  甲:奥……这事儿是他说的啊?

  乙:啊,有这事儿吗?

  丙:有,74块,就是74块!

  乙:你说74块,得说出道理啊。

  甲:当然有道理,反正我再给你凑23块。

  乙:你上哪儿凑去啊?都是让福娃给闹的。

  甲:哎呀,74块,74块 (指向丙)你可真敢说啊。

  乙:快说啊,哪来74块?

  丙:他是……这个原因啊,奥运会讲究重在参与,中国队人多啊,人多还不得多发几十块金牌啊。

  乙:没听说过。

  甲:不是吗?你看乒乓比赛,三个人一块打,体操比赛,六个人一起翻,人多啊。

  乙:什么呀,那是团体比赛。

  甲:团体比赛?奥,对对,为什么说我们拿了74块金牌。

  乙:为什么?

  甲:因为团体比赛的成员都得发金牌。

  乙:这倒是。

  甲:团体比赛中国队拿了金牌,颁奖的时候你不能就发一块金牌啊,然后下来掰开了大伙分。

  乙:这个没法分。

  甲:还是的,那就得一人一块,所以集体项目就多出好多金牌,这么一算……连本带利正好是74块。

  乙:哪儿来的利息,你存银行啊,不过这说得有点道理。

  丙:我就是这意思。

  乙:你刚才怎么不说啊?不过我们也没算过是不是74块,这样吧,您把这些奥运冠军的名字说全了,我们就承认是74块,怎么样?

  甲:我来来?背一背?有人愿意听吗?

  乙:当然啊。

  甲:好,说一说奥运冠军榜。

  陈燮霞,陈艳青,陈若琳,陈一冰,陈颖

  张宁,张怡宁,张小平,张湘祥,张杨杨,张娟娟,

  王皓,王楠,王鑫,王峰,王娇,王励勤

  杨威,杨伊琳,杨秀丽,杨文军

  郭跃,郭文珺,郭晶晶

  何冲,何可欣、何雯娜

  林跃,林丹

  杜丽,杜婧

  殷剑,邱健

  邹凯,邹市明

  陆永,陆春龙

  刘春红,刘子歌

  吴静钰,吴敏霞

  李小鹏、李珊珊

  还有

  庞伟,火亮,秦凯,廖辉,仲满,曹磊,佟文,于洋,肖钦,马琳,程菲,黄旭,唐宾

  冼东妹,江钰源、邓琳琳、金紫薇,奚爱华,龙清泉,孟关良

  乙:好!

  丙:怎么样,正好74块金牌。

  甲(走到丙身边):有你这么说话的吗?别人怎么理解。

  丙:对对,我这人说话爱省事,不是有你吗?

  甲:我这费多大劲。

  丙:行行,那5个福娃让你儿子接着玩吧,不着急还。

  甲:这个,多不好意思啊,也得给你留几个啊。

  丙:不用留,哎,我把发票也给你吧。

  乙:好么,他们这办交接呢。

  丙:咱们接着说。

  乙:去年我们国家还有一件大事。

  丙:都知道,神七上天!

  乙:对,那是一次壮举啊。

  丙:神舟七号……唉,说起神七,我想起来了(指向甲) 上个月你借我的神七模型到现在还没还,你儿子别给弄坏了。

  乙:他东西还真多。

  甲:坏不了,我儿子就研究一下里面的结构,准备改装他的自行车。

  乙:那能一样吗?咱们还是说神舟七号。

  丙:这次神七发射成功,最绝的就是太空行走。

  乙:没错,出仓作业技术上是难题。

  丙:可人家翟志刚训练有素,走得稳啊,就是太慢了。

  乙:没办法,那是在太空,处于失重状态。

  丙:不对不对,不是这原因,主要是翟志刚太重了,走不动。好家伙,300多斤能走得快吗?对不对……

  乙:300多斤?航天员能有那么重吗?

  丙:怎么不可能,他体检的时候我过的称。

  乙:哪儿的事。

  丙:这个,你还不相信我?不信,你问他啊。

  乙:奥,这事儿他又知道。

  丙:没错,解释权归他。

  乙:什么解释权啊,再跟您打听打听。

  甲:这个金牌啊,团体比赛每人都有一块,所以……

  乙:不是,这我知道了。现在想问问神舟七号的航天员,翟志刚,他的体重是不是有300多斤?

  甲:你糊涂啦,航天员能这么重吗?

  丙(走到甲身边):怎么回事你,翟志刚300多斤这事儿你不知道吗?你借模型的时候,我不是都告诉你了吗?(对甲使眼色)

  甲:奥……这事是他说得啊?

  乙:没有?

  甲:有……有有有。

  乙:这模型又起作用了。那你说300多斤,你也得说出道理来。

  甲:那当然有道理,不就300多斤吗?

  乙:啊对,你说道理啊。

  甲:300多斤,(指向丙) 翟志刚300多斤,体检能合格吗?

  乙:快说道理。

  甲:300多斤,300多斤,唉,你多重?

  乙:你问我干吗?

  甲:我想你要是一块上天,说不定能有300多斤。

  乙:开什么玩笑,我能去太空吗?人家宇航员都受过专业训练,太空行走还得穿着特制的航天服。

  甲:奥,他们还要穿航天服?

  乙:多新鲜呐。

  甲:啊,对啦对啦,为什么说翟志刚有300多斤。

  乙:为什么?

  甲:因为这件航天服它太重,有120公斤。

  乙:奥,有报道。

  甲:再加上翟志刚本身的体重,一共……

  乙:还真是300多斤。不过这样,您给大家介绍介绍这件高科技的航天服,怎么样?

  甲:我再来来?

  乙:唉,大家欢迎。

  甲:好,说一说神七航天服。

  这是我国自主研制的舱外航天服,总重量120公斤,造价3000万人民币。

  可为航天员出舱活动提供合适的气压、氧气、温度、湿度,具有足够的强度和通信保障,还能防止辐射、流星以及空间碎片对航天员的伤害。

  乙:价值连城啊。

  甲:翟志刚穿上这套航天服,那真是

  狮子盔,张口吞天,

  朱雀铠,虎体遮严。

  素罗袍,藏龙戏水,

  八宝带,高贵长绵。

  护心镜,亮如满月。

  肋下悬,玉把龙泉。

  凤凰裙,双遮两腿,

  鱼褟尾,钩挂连环。

  胯下白龙马,掌中一杆龙胆亮银枪!

  乙:这是翟志刚?

  甲:这是赵子龙!

  乙:嗨,你说三国呐。

  丙:这是现代的赵子龙,说得多好啊。

  甲:(走到丙身边):有你这么说话的吗?一下多出200多斤。

  丙:对对,别说,你脑子还真快。

  甲:你看把我累得。

  丙:这样,那个神七模型,让你儿子继续研究,争取把自行车改成摩托车。

  甲:这个,多不好意思啊。

  丙:客气什么呀,唉,我家里还有神州八号,你要吗?

  乙:嚯,航天部都还没研究出来呐。你们看啊,这些都是去年发生的大事。

  丙:对啊。

  乙:可是今年我们上海还得准备一件大事。

  丙:奥,那我知道,全市人民都在迎接世博会的召开。

  甲:干劲冲天,牛劲冲天!

  乙:不错,我提议,现在我们就来说说世博会的配套建设。

  丙:没问题啊。

  甲:那谁先说?

  乙:我先来,先说西藏南路隧道,世博园区唯一一条专用越江通道。

  丙:我说,外滩通道工程,全长3公里。

  乙:好,不错。

  丙:该你了。

  甲:我也说一个,地铁二号线……飞上天

  乙:嚯,哪儿有这工程啊?

  丙:就是。

  甲:孤陋寡闻,二号线延伸之后,将连接浦东、虹桥两大机场,这不叫飞上天啊?

  乙:奥,还算有点道理。

  丙:还行。

  乙:那我接着说,浦东国际机场北通道。

  丙:我说,虹桥机场新航站楼。

  甲:又到我了,地铁七号线飞上天。

  乙:怎么又上天了?

  丙:瞎说,七号线规划不到机场。

  甲:你糊涂啊,你到静安寺站换二号线啊,二号线就能到机场,到机场不就能上天了吗?

  乙:奥,还得换乘。

  丙:麻烦。

  乙:那我再说,京沪高速铁路上海段。

  丙:我说,虹桥综合交通枢纽配套快速路。

  甲:又该我了,十一号线飞上天。

  乙:你没完啦。

  丙:十一号线也不到机场。

  甲:你糊涂啊,你到江苏路站换二号线啊。 (甲乙丙):二号线就能到机场,到机场不就能上天了吗?

  乙:你就这句熟。

  丙:说来说去就是"地铁飞上天".

  甲:何止地铁飞上天,我们还要让汽车飞上天,轮船飞上天,火车飞上天,让交通更加便利,城市更加美丽,世博会承载着上海人民的美好梦想,上海!

  甲乙丙:欢迎您!

  群口相声剧本(二)

  Y :谢谢,谢谢大家给我一个人的掌声

  3 :您这不对啊

  Y :再拍手这些个都是给你们拍的

  3 :谢谢大家

  Y :再一次谢谢大家给我一个人的掌声

  Z :您老争竞这个干嘛啊

  C :其实人家来是看我们来的

  J :就是就是

  Y :以你们为主,以我为辅

  Z :哪能这么说啊?

  C ’ J :不能不能

  Y :谁不知道啊?张伟在咱们公司能耐大了!我们都爱称张小妹‘杨贵妃’!秀气!

  C :嚯,别秀气了 ! 就她这身材,还杨贵妃呢?

  J :这体重可够了!

  Z :哎,这没法演了 (下台…)

  Y :别介啊,朕在这儿,爱妃怎就自己下台了

  (众人拦…)

  Z: 没你们这么欺负人的!

  Y :开个玩笑,来了好多朋友,这一大片的,好几万人呢

  C :哪那么些个?

  Y :春节快到了,来 来 来,在此我们给大家拜个早年,祝大家春节快乐!

  J :您这都不挨着啊

  Z :曾经有人问我,咱这职业有意思么?

  J :这个问题深了

  C :您什么文化水平啊

  Y :大家都明白

  Z :你还是过看点儿书去吧

  J :书 我看过啊

  C :四大名著 你看过吗?

  Z :四大名猪?

  Y :不是不是,四大名著

  C :对,近朱者赤

  J :哪儿啊?!什么乱七八糟的?四大名著!!

  C :四大名著,三国、幻城、三重门、小强语录

  Y :什么乱七八糟的,没有那个,四大名著你不知道啊,三国!

  J :三国,大家都知道啊,韩国,新加坡,马拉西亚

  Z :行了行了,哪儿有啊,根本就没有这国家

  J :马来西亚,没有这国家?

  Y :我说三国里面没有这国家

  C :那您说说三国里面都有什么国家

  Y :魏蜀吴

  Z :为属么?

  J :哪儿出来这么一句啊?

  Z :这多绕嘴啊。

  J :啊,没有马来西亚?

  Y :根本没有

  Z :相声里边很多作品都是三国里边摘出来的,最有名的,批三国,还有叫一肚子三国、批捉放、三国人物谱、三国英雄论,这都是三国的作品,还有就是太平歌词里有长板坡、有七星灯、有单刀会,都是这里的,单刀会好多人都会,三国的故事,都知道这个,刘备、关羽、张飞哥儿仨桃圆结义,一个头磕在地上,跟亲哥们一样,站起身来,保着唐僧到西天取经。

  C :什么啊您这是

  Y :还有这个《红楼梦》,都知道,贾宝玉和林黛玉的爱情故事,这个跟说相声的离的就更近了

  J :是吗?

  C :贾宝玉,啊,薛宝钗、侯宝林、常宝华、王宝强

  Z :哪有啊?

  C :没有啊

  J :没有,没有后边那几个

  C :啊,

  Z :打侯宝林往后的没有了

  J :压根侯宝林也没在里边

  Y :废话,能在《红楼梦》里边吗?

  C :没在啊?《红楼梦》,故事很感人,后台有个演员叫崔航

  Z :这个可以有

  J :头发那样的那个,一年四季穿一件背心,都穿那一件背心,大冬天都不带换的

  Y :啊,还有这么个人,大冬天还不得感冒

  C :他就爱看这个《红楼梦》

  Z :哦

  C :看的这个哭啊,哗哗的,裤子都湿了

  Y :那是尿的吧?

  C :不是,量大啊他这个

  Z :没听说过

  C :我过去问他为什么哭啊?

  J :哭什么呢?

  C :王熙凤死了,薛宝钗也死了,哭…我说,你至于的吗?有什么可哭的,你一大老爷们儿的,你还干什么不干了? 555 …我跟你说吧,大林黛玉一死我就不想活了

  3 :嗨!

  J :这是《红楼梦》,还有这个《水浒》,水泊梁山 108 将

  Y :对

  Z :好多的英雄好汉

  C :恩

  J :好多人喜欢这个,咱们后台!有一个人特别喜欢看

  3 :谁呀?

  J :你们伺候的另外一个主子,郭浩 呀

  Z :咳,你就说是他就行了

  J :唉,他就喜欢这个。 ( 学郭浩,翻书状 ) 我得多看看《水浒》,学学武松的英雄侠义

  C :啊,要学武松?

  J :唉,每天看,还琢磨

  Y :琢磨什么啊?

  J :我什么时候也能来回英雄救美啊?

  Z :估计他这个也没安什么好心

  C :你小心着点啊,一会他上台揍你

  Y :啊,是得防着点

  J :那天早晨呢,他在这三环边儿上溜达,突然看见这八一湖那边儿站着一个大美女,长发飘飘,长的挺漂亮,但是她这个表情是一脸的严肃,好象是受了什么挫折,八成是想不开呀跳湖

  Z :机会来了

  J :郭浩一看这个,上吧,还犹豫什么啊,该出手时就出手嘛!

  C :唱。风风火火闯九州啊…

  Y :是

  J :他就悄悄的凑到那个女的身后,一把把她抱住,亲 ~ 有什么想不开的啊?你看看我,都这么大岁数了还没对象呢,我不也好好活着呢嘛,不行咱俩凑合凑合

  Z :说这个干吗啊?

  J :他这正说着呢,那女生回身儿就是一大嘴巴子,一脚把他踹了个跟头

  3 :啊?怎么回事儿

  J : ( 使劲踹人动作 ) 你吃饱了撑的啊?没看我练气功呢吗?

  Z :好嘛,人家是练功呢

  J :相声都是编的 ,逗大家乐的

  Y :是

  J :就刚才这事是真的

  C :我说的那也是真的

  众哈哈大笑

  Y :四大名著,还有就是这个《西游记》了,这个大家伙都知道,孙悟空、猪八戒、沙和尚,保着唐僧西天取经嘛,是不?

  Z :恩,是这个故事

  Y :我觉得这个书写的很有人情味

  3 :是吗?

  Y :虽然说写的是妖魔鬼怪,但实际上是人间百态

  C :哦,拟人的这是

  Y :你看这个唐僧对猪八戒,我觉得就跟父子爷儿俩一样

  J :怎么呢?

  C :那你说这猪八戒有优点吗?贪吃、贪玩、说瞎话儿

  J :全是毛病

  Z :还不爱干活,唐僧宠他

  3 :溺爱啊

  Y :你看这个跟家长宠孩子不是一样的吗?缺点再多也是自己的孩子

  3 :真是爷儿俩

  Y :有这么一个小章节,我觉得写的人情味很浓

  Z :怎么写的?

  Y :猪八戒问唐僧,师傅,我是世上最丑的人吗?是不是世上没有比我更丑的了?

  J :唐僧呢?

  Y :唐僧眼泪下来了,孩子我不能说啊

  C :怎么呢?

  Y :你去问一问观音菩萨吧

  C :哦

  Y :猪八戒找观世音去了

  3 :恩

  Y :打菩萨那回来,猪八戒兴高采烈

  Z :美啦

  Y :师傅,这张伟是谁啊?

  Z :去你的吧(推搡…)

  众鞠躬谢幕…

  延伸阅读(英语版):

  B: New Year's day, happy New Year! I wish you all the best of the year!

  A: well, the year of the ox has arrived. We all have cows!

  C: why do you want to go to the ox? I think in 2008 our country is very good!

  B: that makes sense.

  C: that's a good idea.

  B: oh, come on.

  C: no problem. First of all, in August, China hosted the world's most famous Olympic Games.

  B: yes, the Chinese have finally realized their dreams.

  C: the Olympics is a big stage, the opening ceremony is magnificent, the competition is colorful, the mascot is lively and lovely.

  B: the image of fuwa is very popular.

  C: this fuwa... Well, speaking of fuwa, I remember. (pointing to a) the five fuwa I bought, the last time you lent it to your son, you haven't returned it to me yet.

  B: ok, I remember now.

  A: in a few days, the kid likes to play.

  B: they'll return it soon.

  C: my son wants to play, too. When you borrowed it, he left me two. He cleared the warehouse.

  B: neither do you, nor leave one?

  A: who said he didn't leave him, I didn't stay?

  B: fuwa?

  A: invoice.

  C: you?

  B: all right, all right, let's talk about the Olympics.

  C: none of the things I just said are the most exciting.

  B: oh, what's the most exciting?

  C: gold medal, China took so many gold MEDALS this time, you are not excited.

  B: of course I'm excited.

  C: we won 74 gold MEDALS at this Olympics, this guy, a lot of cows...

  B: please wait for a while, the account is not on.

  C: what's wrong?

  B: everyone knows, the Beijing Olympic Games team won 51 gold MEDALS, which 74?

  C: nonsense, it must be 74. I signed it when I sent it.

  B: what's the mess? It's 51.

  C: well, don't you believe me? No, you ask him.

  B: oh, he knows?

  C: yes, you ask him.

  B: ok, I'll ask. I'll check with you.

  A: you say.

  B: how many gold MEDALS did China take in this Olympics?

  A: 51 dollars. Everyone knows that.

  B: now some people say that we have won 74 gold MEDALS. Is that all?

  A: and 23 of them made by himself? Nonsense!

  C (walks to a side) : what's the matter with you? You don't know about China's 74 gold MEDALS? This thing... You know even fuwa. (for a wink)

  A: Mr... Is that what he said?

  B: oh, is there anything wrong?

  C: yes, 74 blocks, 74 pieces!

  B: you said 74. You have to make sense.

  A: of course, I'll get you another 23.

  B: where are you going? They're all making fuwa.

  A: oh, 74, 74 (pointing to c) you can say that.

  B: tell me about it. 74 bucks?

  C: he is... For this reason, the Olympic Games emphasizes the importance of participation, the Chinese people are many, many people still not many dozens of gold MEDALS.

  B: no.

  A: isn't it? You watch table tennis, three people play, gymnastics, six people together, many people.

  B: what, that's a group game.

  A: group games? O, yes, why did we say we won 74 gold MEDALS.

  B: why?

  A: because the team members are going to have gold MEDALS.

  B: that's true.

  A: team China took the gold medal, you can't just send a gold medal, then come down and break up the group.

  B: it's impossible.

  A: still, that would be one piece, so there would be a lot of gold MEDALS in the group project, so it was... Even this is just 74 dollars.

  B: there's interest. You deposit the bank, but it makes sense.

  C: that's what I mean.

  B: why didn't you say that? But we haven't figured out whether it's 74 bucks, so, you're saying all the names of these Olympic champions, so let's just admit it's 74, how about that?

  A: shall I come? Back one back? Anybody want to listen?

  B: sure.

  A: ok, speaking of the Olympic championship.

  Chen xiexia, Chen yanqing, Chen ruolin, Chen yibing, Chen ying

  Zhang ning, zhang yining, zhang xiaoping, zhang xiangxiang, zhang Yang Yang, zhang juanjuan,

  Wang hao, wang nan, wang xin, wang feng, wang jiao, wang liqin

  Yang wei, Yang yilin, Yang xii, Yang wenjun

  Guo yue, guo wenjun, guo jingjing

  He chong, he kexin, he wenna

  Lin yue, Lin Dan

  Du li, du jing

  Yin jian, qiu jian

  Zou kai, zou shiming

  Lu yong, lu chunlong

  Liu chunhong, liu zige

  Wu jingyu, wu minxia

  Li xiaopeng, li shanshan

  And also

  Pang wei, fire light, qin kai, liao hui, zhong zhong, cao lei, tong wen, yu Yang, xiao qin, ma Lin, cheng fei, huang xu, tang bin

  Xian dongmei, jiang yuyuan, deng linlin, jin ziwei, xi aihua, longqingquan, meng guliang

  B: good!

  C: well, exactly 74 gold MEDALS.

  A (walk to c) : do you have a conversation like that? How others understand it.

  C: yes, I'm a very convenient person to talk to. Isn't it you?

  A: how much energy I have.

  C: line, those five fuwa lets your son go on playing, not in a hurry.

  A: well, I'm sorry, but I have to leave some for you.

  C: no, I'll give you the invoice as well.

  B: ok, they'll have the handover.

  C: let's go on.

  B: last year we had another big thing in our country.

  C: you know, god seven!

  B: yeah, that was a feat.

  C: shenzhou vii... Well, speaking of god seven, I remember (pointing to a) last month when you borrowed my god 7 model and still haven't returned it, your son has not broken it.

  B: he's a lot of stuff.

  A: no, my son will study the structure and prepare to change his bike.

  B: can that be the same? Let's still say shenzhou vii.

  C: this time god seven launches successfully, the most unique is the space walk.

  B: yes, it's a technical problem.

  C: but zhai zhigang is well trained and steady, which is too slow.

  B: no, it's in space. It's weightless.

  C: no, not at all. The main reason is that zhai zhigang is too heavy to walk. Good guy, can you walk faster than 300 jin? Isn't it...

  B: 300 pounds? Can the astronauts be that heavy?

  C: it's impossible, he told me when he had a physical examination.

  B: where is it?

  C: well, don't you believe me? No, you ask him.

  B: oh, he knows that.

  C: yes, he is the interpreter.

  B: what's the power of explanation? I'll ask you about it.

  A: it's a gold medal, and everyone has one in the group game, so...

  B: no, I see. Now I want to ask the astronaut of shenzhou vii, zhai zhigang, does he weigh more than 300 jin?

  A: you're confused. Can the astronaut be so heavy?

  C (walks to a side) : what happened to you, zhai zhigang 300 jin this thing you don't know? Didn't I tell you all about it when you borrowed the model? (for a wink)

  A: Mr... What did he say?

  B: no?

  A: there are... There are have.

  B: the model works again. Then you say 300 jin, you also have to make a point.

  A: that certainly makes sense, not over 300 jin?

  B: ah, yes, you are right.

  A: more than 300 jin, (pointing to c) zhai zhigang more than 300 jin, will the physical examination be qualified?

  B: make sense.

  A: more than 300 jin, 300 jin, alas, how much do you weigh?

  B: what are you asking me for?

  A: I think if you were a god, maybe you could have more than 300 jin.

  B: are you kidding me? Can I go to space? Astronauts are trained to walk in space and wear special spacesuits.

  A: oh, they're going to wear spacesuit?

  B: how fresh.

  A: ah, right. Why did zhai zhigang have more than 300 jin?

  B: why?

  A: because it's too heavy. It's 120 kilos.

  B: oh, there are reports.

  A: together with zhai zhigang's weight, total...

  B: it's more than 300 jin. But how about this high-tech spacesuit?

  A: shall I come again?

  B: oh, everyone.

  A: ok, tell me about the seven space suit.

  This is our independently developed Eva space suit, which weighs 120 kilograms and costs 30 million RMB.

  Can provide suitable for astronaut extravehicular activity of air pressure, oxygen, temperature, humidity, with sufficient strength and communication support, also can prevent radiation, the meteor as well as injury to the astronaut space debris.

  B: it's worth it.

  A: zhai zhigang put on this spacesuit. That's true

  Lion's helmet, open mouth,

  The tiffin armor, the tiger body cover tightly.

  Plain robe, Tibetan dragon,

  Eight treasure belt, noble long.

  The goggles are bright like a full moon.

  Under the ribs, the jade dragon springs.

  Phoenix skirt, double legs,

  Fish tail, crochet.

  The white dragon horse in the crotch, the palm of a long courage bright silver gun!

  B: this is zhai zhigang?

  A: this is zhao zilong!

  B: hey, you say three kingdoms.

  C: this is the modern zhao zilong, how good it is.

  A: (walks to c) : have you spoken like that? More than 200 catties.

  C: yeah, don't say that. You're really quick.

  A: you look tired.

  C: so, the god seven model, let your son continue to study, strive to change the bike to motorcycle.

  A: sorry about that.

  C: you're welcome. Oh, there's another shenzhou 8. Do you want it?

  B: wow, the space department hasn't been studied yet. You see, these are the big things that happened last year.

  C: yes.

  B: but we have to prepare a big event in Shanghai this year.

  C: oh, I know. All the people in the city are meeting the expo.

  A: the energy is soaring, the bull is soaring!

  B: yes, I'd like to propose that we now talk about the construction of the expo.

  C: no problem.

  A: so who says first?

  B: let me start by saying that the Tibet south road tunnel, the only special crossing channel in the expo site.

  C: I said the bund tunnel project is 3 kilometers long.

  B: ok.

  C: it's your turn.

  A: I also say one, subway line 2... Fly to heaven

  B: wow! Where's the project?

  C: yes.

  A: I'm not sure. After the extension of the second line, I will connect the two airports in pudong and hongqiao.

  B: oh, that makes sense.

  C: it's ok.

  B: then I'll say pudong international airport north.

  C: I said, hongqiao airport new terminal.

  A: come to me again, the subway line 7 flies to the sky.

  B: why are you up in the air?

  C: nonsense, no. 7 is not planned for the airport.

  A: you're confused. You go to the jing 'an temple for the second line. The second line can go to the airport. Can't the airport be able to get to the sky?

  B: oh, I have to change.

  C: trouble.

  B: then I will say that the beijing-shanghai high-speed railway Shanghai section.

  C: I said, hongqiao integrated transport hub.

  A: it's time for me again. The eleven is flying.

  B: you're not finished.

  C: the eleven is not in the airport.

  A: you're confused. You're going to the jiangsu road station to change the second line. (a) : can you get to the airport by the second line and you can't fly to the airport?

  B: that's what you know.

  C: to say it is, "the subway flies to the sky".

  A: the subway far more than fly to heaven, and we have to let the car flew to heaven, and the ship to fly to heaven, and the train flew to heaven, and let the traffic more convenient, more beautiful city, carrying the world expo Shanghai people's beautiful dreams, Shanghai!

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